Life as I want to know it

     We are in the middle of packing and moving. We are in the first phases, as in fixing some things, and packing away extra things to show the house. I hate moving. I feel like I have spent much of my life packing or unpacking my things. This time I am happy to be packing and moving. I am nervous about the house selling, and about getting everything to our new spot without spending a fortune or losing a lot of things. For me, saying good bye is never easy. I will miss the people here, and I will miss the ease with which I find friends, but I will not miss much else. I know my way around, but I can learn anywhere.

   I love my house. It is an older house and we never got around or the money to do all we wanted with it, but we did a lot. However, the last 5 years have been a complete roller coaster for me. It was either the heights of wonder (the birth  of my second son) or the depths of despair. ( Nasty woman hurting my Mom, DH having job issues, etc.) I am ready to go. This house will be hard to leave in a few ways. It was where we first brought C home, it is where my beloved Winnie Pooh was still my happy doggie. 

   However, in most ways, I will be happy to leave. The house needs work in some areas, I miss having a bathroom en suite, and there are some sad and horrible memories here, too. Without reliving the gory details, I have lost much in this house. I have lost myself  in many  ways. Recently, I have begun to  find me again, and  being here is  tough  for  that.  Memories live in the  corners and I  stumble into  them when  I least expect  it.  I am  hoping  to leave  them and  the nightmares  here. I won't call  the  move a new start,  but I  will  call  it turning  the  page.  As   for what   the next  chapter holds,  I don't  know,  but  I  want  to  find  out.